In the wake of Tiger Woods jaw-dropping sex scandal there is only one thing for Elin to do and that is to divorce her narcissist bed hopping at the drop of a hat hubby.
She should not blame the other women and she should not give him another chance. All this blame-the-other-woman nonsense is ridiculous. It’s pretty difficult to image a woman chasing someone as famous as Tiger Woods and demanding he sleep with her. Tiger did the chasing. Tiger did the cheating. And only Tiger should pay, both literally and figuratively for not keeping his junk in his pants.
I know this firsthand. I know because I was once the other woman to one very private billionaire by the name of Ira Riklis. We had an eight-year relationship that would make every one of Tiger Woods “transgressions” pale by comparison. Even in the pre-internet days of the 1980s-90s, Ira was a master of “transgressions.”
This is how Ira cheated (which will give you an indication of how the rich, powerful and famous do it, pun intended):
1. He told me he loved me.
2. He talked about getting a divorce.
3. He talked about marrying me.
4. He verbally compared my body to hers (always telling me how perfect mine was compared to hers because, according to him: “her body changed since she had the kids”).
5. He’d go off on his month long ski trips with wife and kids in tow and call me constantly (which, btw, is called cheating on your wife when you’re on vacation)
6. He would have me book hotel reservations in my name – then he would call the hotel, ask for me and have me tell him which room number I was in, whereupon he would come on over without ever having to stop at the front desk. (That’s an art form he must have acquired from his famously wicked father Meshulam Riklis, or something he must have perfected from previous adulterous romps).
7. He would hand me a wad of cash to pay for the hotel rooms several days or weeks after my/our stay so I could take care of the bill in cash and there would be no trace no trace back to him. Officially, I was the only one to actually sleep in the room. Ira would come and go. Sometimes, quite literally. Unless, of course, we traveled outside of New York City.
8. He would have me make my own airline reservations and then meet me in front of the terminal. We’d then make our way to the reservations clerk where he would hand over another wad of cash to pay for my roundtrip fare -- again making sure there was no paper trail.
9. He asked me to buy black suits to wear in public so that in the event we’d bump into someone he knew on the streets of New York City; he could introduce me as “his banker.”
10. He sent me flowers with handwritten notes (yes, handwritten notes because there was a time when no one sent emails or texted).
11. He had me set up fictitious corporations so he could write checks out to them in order for me to have the money to buy expensive “Lejaby” lingerie and the deliciously decadent “Fogel” stockings – both of which he turned me on to. And, of course, I needed to keep on buying those notorious black suits…
12. He would take me shopping in other cities and always paid cash. The shopping trips were pretty similar to the scene in Pretty Woman with the “obscene amount of money” and fawning talk. Which, frankly I liked. Having someone fawn over you while you shop is always nice. Unlike the Pretty Woman scenario, Ira stayed with me while I changed in the dressing room.
And what makes Ira’s cheating ways much more twisted than Tiger Woods is back when I first refused to have anything to do with him -- being married and all, and basically disappeared from his life -- Ira had me hunted down.
Yes, hunted down. He paid a hefty $150,000 to a man named Dave to have him find me. That was a lot of money in the mid 80’s. It took six months for this Dave guy to fetch me for him. Of course, this was before Google got in the business of spying. I guess it wouldn’t cost him a cent to find me now.
Oh well...
Bottom line is he chased me. And, then when I said no, he chased me some more. And, then some more, until I finally gave in.
Elin, the other women are not the problem. It’s the easy thing to believe. And it’s a lot easier to blame all those other women than to blame the man you love.
After all, when you blame the man you love, in essence you’re blaming yourself.
Stop blaming yourself and move on. Tiger’s stripes aren’t going to change. You and your children deserve better. To base your happiness and the happiness of your children on someone who is completely self-centered would be the wrong road to take.
You and you alone are in control of your destiny. After all, leaving the louse is all the revenge you’ll need.
Oh, I left Ira in 1993 and yes, he got caught too.
2009 Copyright by Kirby Sommers
Monday, December 14, 2009
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